Warring

Are you fighting a war?

My students said as I stood in class helplessly. The others streamed out and only a handful greeted me.

A student’s energy can only be as high as the teacher’s. But mine was depleted.

Embarrassed as I saw the looks on students who seemed to come close to empathising my plight. Guilty towards those who were struggling and actually wanting to learn. Frustrated by those not trying and making noise. Angered by those who make their English goals a test for me.

Yes, I am fighting a war. I told the boy that I should be the general, not the enemy.

A few of them replied that they would like to help but don’t know how to. The sincerity there could not be felt though.

Yes I am fighting a war, and I’ve decided to pick my battles.

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How hard is it for me to trust? But because You are good, it’s easy to trust in You. So I’ll thank You for the house and the home that you have put in place for us. It’s a journey that Imm and I are taking with You. And it’s You who builds our home for us ❤

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.

Psalm 127:1

Waiting 

3 years and now trying to figure things out. I see the people around me making their changes but I was bound to mine for 3 years. Now that I have the freedom to make the move, I feel scared. Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I haven’t done in a while. I’d say that to my students all the time – but for myself. I battled challenges and there was nothing smooth about the 3 years, but I’d say it was a comfortable challenge. The familiarity of everything that I had to deal with, makes me not want to leave. Stepping out into the unknown is daunting.

After reading this.

Do I dare to step out in faith to pursue the dreams that God has put in my heart? Have I had time to think about those dreams? Am I aware and conscious of Your perfect love that has redeemed me fully, and promises me an abundant life? A life that I have been praying for but not seeing – with my eyes covered with the dust that is meant to be just on my feet?